L O N E L I L Y

2:14pm: Sarah Palin
Is anyone else FURIOUS about McCain's choice for VP? Sarah Palin? Has anyone really heard of her?

Well here's some background.. Sarah Palin is a first term govenor of Alaska (two years of experience!), a state populated by less than half a million people. She has no national or international experience. Before being elected to office, she served as mayor of a town populated by less than ten thousand people. She also came in second in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant.

She has a reputation as a reformer, but I don't think that title is too hard to obtain following former Alaska governor Murkowski.

Speaking of that administration, she resigned from her post as Ethics Commissioner of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission in objection to Gov. Murkowski's corruption. But what's going on in her administration? Oh right, she fired Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan because he did not fire state trooper Mike Wooten, who was involved in a custody battle with Palin's sister. When state legislature contracted a former DA to investigate the ethics scandal, Palin had the Attorney General investigate for herself ... Abuse of power?

This is why you should be scared: She's anti-abortion, pro-drilling in the Arctic Circle, anti-polar bear (She's suing the government, claiming polar bears are not endangered/threatened species). Her only platform, that I can at least gather, is that she is a woman, and she chose to keep her fifth child, who suffers from downs syndrome, instead of aborting him.

Um, what?

McCain believes he can trick women into relating to him and the Republican party because he just nominated the second female vice presidential candidate. He is pandering to women whom he thinks only vote based on gender, not on actual issues. It is an insult and a slap in the face to any intelligent woman anywhere. He is also targeting the evangelical vote by adding a vocal anti-abortion, and creationist running mate. And let's also mention his hypocrisy - Sarah Palin is inexperienced and young - all key attacks McCain has shot at Obama.

This disgusts me. Yeah, it's great America finally has a female VP candidate. But for all the wrong reasons.

Sources
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2008146486_webpalintimes29m.html
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/08/29/palin-ethics-investigation/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_palin
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=ahjlNLo_3TFE&refer=home
http://mudflats.wordpress.com/2008/08/13/palin-investigates-self-in-innovative-winning-strategy/

3:18am: Five beers, a kamikaze (shot), a purple hooter (shot), and a seven & seven (straight liquor) later, I'm home safe and probably did some really stupid things tonight.

Oh, I love Skully's and Ladies 80's.

4:50pm: It is astonishing how much hate is still left in this world:

Lawmaker's anti-gay comments attract attention.

In particular, I love this comment:

Dear christian bigots,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from reading your posts here, and will try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from all of you, however, regarding some of the other specific bible laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).

He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?-Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?(Lev.20:14)

I know you have all studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding me that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

7:48pm: I think I just got blown off tonight... On a date that was planned on Wednesday and confirmed last night.

Maybe I'll call that bartender. Rochelle said he's really nice. And, according to her, he apparently has a large penis.

Because you know that's the most important thing .. EVER. ;)

12:40am: So I met this guy. His name is Zach. I really like him.

Except opening up to new people is getting more and more difficult. I guess I'm good at self-sabotaging myself. It's just so hard, coming off of a relationship where the jerk basically cheated on me. Then in dates following bad break up, being more interested than the other, or used for something, such as drugs and sex.

I'm too self-critical and I know I'm over-analyzing this. But this feeling just makes me sick to my stomach and I can't get comfortable no matter what I do.

Call me the professional self-saboteur.

7:03pm: Things that I hate..
.. having an immature, inconsiderate, alcoholic roommate.


Who's going out for drinks with me tonight?

8:58am: I need to have a talk with my roommate.

She was drunk all day yesterday. By herself. Unshowered, in pajamas, on the couch, watching tv. All day. I wish I could say this was unusual.

I went to dinner, came back, watched Criminal Minds. Tony and I then decided to go to Bentos. Roommate wants to come, but is not ready. Also, she's already obliterated. Tony and I leave without her.

She drank all of my juice last night to chase her vodka. Then watered down the last little bit so I wouldn't notice the difference in volume. This is the replacement juice I made her buy me because she drank all of the first one.

Also, she's still passed out on the couch.

I'm not very happy.

11:42pm: I hate boys.


All of them.

Especially those in the military.

5:12pm: Longs temps, pas de parler.

J'avais été très prise, mais il n'y a rien de spécialement intéressant se passant dans ma vie. Je suis indolente, je ne fait pas souvent mes devoirs, je travaille quelques fois, et je gaspille mon argent sur beaucoup de choses qui sont mauvais pour moi. J'ai un problem avec des hommes. Tous eux qui me voudraient, je ne veux pas les voir. Tous eux que je voudrais, je ne les peux pas avoir pour une raison ou une autre.

Un des hommes me plaît beaucoup... mais il y a un petit problem, c'est endroit. Je souhaîte que c'est plus simple, plus facile, mais non, j'ai la plus mauvaise chance. Je vivrai une vie célibataire, peut-être.

Bien que, ce weekend était bon. Nous allons voir.



(Si vous pouvez lire cette écriture, je vous aimerai.)

11:55pm: Wow. I forgot about livejournal. It's funny reading old entries though..

8:25pm: it's official, my parents are crazy.

thank god i will only have to live with them for a couple weeks this summer.

3:10pm: nobody knows where they might end up..
i had quite possibly the greatest weekend ever. tiring, but fantastic none-the-less. friday i didn't go to bed. after work i stopped by patricia's with a friend, then i came back to campus and chilled in my room for a little bit. dave came over and we went to a party in bexley, which was cool, i was pretty happy either way ;) came back up to campus around two and dave dropped me off at eric's house. hung out there with eric, jon, andy, patricia, and her friend. it was pretty much amazing, kids i haven't seen in awhile and who i definitely need to see more of. got back to my room around seven in the morning, packed all my shit, and then left to meet john and take off for chicago.

chicago. what a great experience. we were only in the city for probably twenty four hours so we didn't get to do a lot, but i still had a great time. our hotel was in the middle of china town. it was pretty ghetto, to say the least, but clean, so not too bad. after figuring out where to park and getting situated john and i walked around for awhile. we visited several little trinket shops - very touristy, but fun. ate some chinese food, etc. at about seven-thirty we left our hotel and walked downtown to the theatre for TOOL!

i cannot begin to describe how amazing tool was. i about died. i mean, i thought i loved their albums, but seeing them live just blew me away. maynard was amazing, danny carey was ridiculous.. wow, i mean, tool is just hands down my absolute favorite band now. unfortunately they only played an abreviated set (approximately an hour and a half, maybe) because maynard was sick. but they played almost everything i wanted to hear, including sober, forty-six and 2, and lateralus. best show ever.

drove home sunday morning, it was long. had dinner at my grandmothers with most of my extended family for mother's day and then met dave for coffee. we ended up going to his friend's appartment and smoked some hookah, watched family guy. i had a great time, i'm exceptionally happy now :)

now i just really have to get working on school, i'm starting to slack off.

( hello, alcoholics anonymous.. )

4:04pm: beautiful is a loaded word
i have come to a realization.

after being called a whore by my exboyfriend (who, ironically, has slept with more than a couple women in the two months we've been apart) because i spent the night one time with one person i care a lot about and have cared about for a long time; after blindly trying to see the best in someone and in turn getting used; after a night of pouring my heart out, a night of all my feelings over the past two months coming out to haunt me; i have come to a realization.

i do not need a man to validate who i am.
no one is in control of anything. what happens happens.
i am going to make the most of every situation i run into.
nobody is going to change the person i am.
these are the best years of my life.
i am not going to change myself to please another.
i am lucky.

i am happy.

3:15pm: it seems like i have pretty much no inhibitions anymore..

that really scares me.

3:39am: Ugh, why do I always do stupid shit?

1:08am: i feel physically ill... i havent really eaten anything all day. aimee made me go get ice cream with her, but i only had a few spoonfuls. i tried to eat some macaroni and cheese at home, and a handful of potato chips, but nothing tastes good.

i feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest cavity, thrown across a busy intersection, and after being repeatedly run over, is stuffed in a jar and on display for everyone to see. i'm practically dead. i'm exhausted.. i've cried for almost thirteen hours straight.

everyone told me to keep my chin up, told me i'd get through it, that i'd meet other people. i don't want to meet other people. fuck, i even begged...

so i guess i give up. what else can i do? i'm defeated, weak.. i've got nothing left, i can't think, breathe, eat.

i thought some horrible thoughts. really horrible. the worst part is that i'm serious about it.

he's going out tonight. he needs to clear his mind. he wants to have fun. i went ice skating, i snuck off the ice to cry on a bench at the back of the rink. and then i left my car keys there. i wish i could have fun.

i dont want him to meet someone else. i dont want to meet someone else.

what happens when you lose your soul mate?

do i get a replacement?


he said, "what if our problems our permanent?"

2:03pm: I was tagged...
School is going well.. I have the rest of my life for the next three years planned out completely, and then, when I graduate, I have four more years to plan of vet school. There's only a month left in the quarter, I have a ridiculous ammount of work to do, but hopefully will finish up with a 4.0. I've been procrastinating lately, so today I'll spend probably somewhere along the lines of eight hours finish lab write-ups, doing two pre-labs, writing a paper, and organizing everything ELSE I still have to do. I don't have time to be stressed out. I love college.

I'm still dating Russell, the most amazing person ever. I'm very happy with everything.. couldn't ask for more.

Portia still needs to go to the vet, but my parents are wary of spending the money.

Speaking of, I have none.

Miss everyone tons, when you guys come back for Thanksgiving give me a call, and we'll throw a party.

( From Caxide, of All People... )

11:38pm: So..
.. Remember when I used to update?


Yeah, me neither.

1:29pm: i've been doing a whole lot of nothing lately. work has slowed down a little bit, my liscense is suspended, everyone's left columbus, jim and john are in maryland, russell got his wisdom teeth out, and i've just been around here. doing a whole lot of nothing.

i'm so unproductive. i need to finish my book, see my horse, something or other.

blah.


oh yeah, my birthday is friday.

1:19pm: being bored
enjoy the survey ;)



( i'll be your downfall, baby )

3:26pm: fall quarter schedule!
i'm excited.

10:01am: some cute pictures from yesterday :)

4:14pm: ( i've seen a lot of movies.. )

11:54am: life's good. today i'm just being lazy. i should go over to do some more training work, considering i was really supposed to go finish it on friday, and well, i didn't. i also need money. and i'm meeting lisa at comfest today. but first, i think finishing my laundry might be helpful.

i am really happy right now :)

lisa, call me.


( even new wine served in old skins cheapens the taste. i shot the pilot, i'm begging you to fly this for me. i'm here for you to use, broken and bruised, do you understand? it's only you - beautiful - or i don't want anyone else. if i can choose, it's only you. how could i miscalculate? perfect eyes will have perfect hate. if i could choose, it's only you. )

12:00am: ( I'm bored. )